Tribute to a Great Cat: Butch
Butch has played an important role on this site, since I first chose him as Cat of the Week in April of last year. He had been confined in a shelter cage for two years. Linda Wade, a shelter volunteer who had submitted his photo, wrote, "Butch is not just a pretty face. He’s an absolute charmer and loves to be picked up and held. He is too, too cute! He loves people and deserves a good, loving 'forever' home."
Butch's photo and story touched the hearts of many of my readers and he was subsequently voted Cat of the Month for April, 2007. Although many people posted that they wished they could adopt him if he were closer, in July Cheryl C., who lived halfway across the country, accepted the challeng. She flew from Ohio to New Jersey, where she adopted Butch as her forever cat.
Sadly, in May of this year, Cheryl contacted me to tell me about Butch's diagnosis of cancer. His veterinary oncologist thought he might have a chance of remission through chemotherapy, and Butch's treatment began. Cheryl and I exchanged frequent emails during the past few months. She went through the normal roller coaster of emotions: joy when Butch responded positively, and sorrow and self-doubts when he had setbacks. I posted here and our readers rallied behind Butch, with prayers of support coming from around the world.
Cheryl wrote yesterday that Butch had told her that he was ready to leave for yet a new life. Today he is at peace, waiting for the woman who loved him best at the Rainbow Bridge. Butch's story is not over. His spirit remains as a reminder to all of us of the strength of courage, serenity of acceptance, and the unconditional love cats honor us with.
In an early email from Cheryl to Linda Wade, she said, "The gentlemen at the airport said to Butch when we transferred him to my carrier "Have a good life Butch" ............. I assure you that he will!"
You know what? Butch did have a very good life. In the short year he lived with Cheryl, they packed in a lifetime of love. No cat could want for more.
Cheryl wrote, "We did not have much time together but it was filled with love. I have found solace in one of your reader's comments with a saying by Abraham Lincoln: 'It's not the years in your life but the life in your years.'" She asked me to thank you for all of your support, and I am confident that your support will continue in the days to come.
August 16, 2008 Update: Cheryl asked me to post a special note to all the people who have so kindly posted their condolences here. She writes:
Their comments mean so much to me and the poems and sayings and personal experiences are so moving. They have all in their own special way helped me to grieve for my big, beautiful boy Butch. Please thank them for me. It means so much to me that people who have never even met Butch or I can be so compassionate, caring and loving. I am overwhelmed by their support. Bless them all and hugs to each and every one of them. They need to know how much their comments have helped me. I am so overwhelmed by their love and want them to know it.
Comments
I’m at work and having a hard time stopping the tears that want to come. Thank you to all the people that contributed to Butch having a great life; I know Butch brought much happiness to those around him. What a special kitty! Having a loving relationship with a kitty is truly a blessing. I want to go home and be with mine. Thank you Frannie for letting us get to know Butch, Cheryl, and Linda. God Bless.
I am so happy Butch had such a loving home. May rest in peace on the rainbow bride till his human joins him.
My beautuful Tom is diafnosed for fiv. No Coombs or ELISA was done.
He is healthy happy and enjoying life as my special kitty.
Looking at Butch’s sweet picture made it even harder to keep from tearing up at my desk. I’m glad that Butch found a forever home for at least a little while before it was his time to go…God bless everyone who helped him live a good life with lots of love!
I empathize totally with the loss of Butch.
I went through a similar experience with my Jade, whom I loved dearly.
We tried everything,including experimental drugs etc. but her malignant tumor proved to be too much & she died with us at home.
I can only think of this short poem:
“The pine tree lives for a thousand years, the morning glory but for a single day, yet each have fulfilled their destiny.”
Thank God Butch had that good year in his life. We should all be so fortunate.
Sincerely, Phyllis Graziano
I too am finding it hard to keep from welling up w/tears at my work station. Butch had a hard life, but the last year ended with his forever family and that’s good. God willing, they will meet again at the Rainbow Bridge. Again, Ins Allah.
Fatima
I was deeply saddened by the news of Butch and my deepest sympathy goes out to Cheryl and her family. He was one very special cat and Cheryl is one very special, dear friend. He had the best year of his life in Ohio and we couldn’t have asked for anything more for this ordinary little guy. Thank you for loving him. He will always be remembered.
I am so sorry to hear of the passing of Butch, his story is one of sadness and joy and I am so glad he found a forever home where he was given the love he so deserved and Im sure he gave much back.
Rest in Peace Butch at Rainbow Bridge.
June
IF IT SHOULD BE
If it should be that I grow frail and weak
And pain should wake me from my sleep,
Then you must do what must be done,
For the last battle can’t be won,
You will be sad, I understand,
Don’t let your grief then stay your hand.
For this day more than all the rest,
Your love and friendship shall stand the test.
We’ve had so many happy years
What is to come will hold no tears,
You’ll not want me to suffer, so,
When the time comes, please let me go.
I know in time you too will see
It is a kindness you do for me,
Although my tail it’s last has waved,
From pain and suffering I have been saved.
Do not grieve that is should be you
Who has to decide this thing to do,
We’ve been so close we two, these years
Don’t let your heart hold any tears.
Butch was indeed fortunate to have a wonderful year with a kind person to love him as he left for his next life. I hope many people will honor him by adopting a cat or kitten in need, and pass on the love and respect that all of us should have for the miracle that is a cat.
We too express our sorrow over Butch’s passing. It’s always hard to say goodbye. We had a similar experience in NJ with a shelter cat - a Russian Blue named Cole. He had been abandoned at at shelter and it wasn’t until the shelter processed him that they found he had a very severe heart murmur. His posting on petfinder.com said he would probably only have a few years to live. We fell in love with him and drove the 2 & 1/2 hours to adopt him and give him his forever home. He lived just about 2 years longer to the day we brought him home, and had a wonderful life, lots of toys, 2 humans who adored him, good food and a warm place to sleep. I’m sure he’s greeting Butch at the Rainbow Bridge today too. Cheryl - you’re a special person and Butch’s life was enhanced because of you.
I join in marking Butch’s passing. I lost my senior cat, Hannah, about a week ago. The cat lady who gave her to me thinks she may have been 19 or 20.
Hannah was The Cat Who Came To Dinner. When she was a kitten, a car hit her and broke her pelvis. She had to live in a cage, and my cat lady asked me to foster her until a home could be found. A home was found
Despite the aftereffects of her injury (she had deep nerve damage in her right hind leg), she managed to run around the apartment and climb onto my bed. I’d be reading in bed and feel the touch of a paw, as she said “Pay Attention to Me! Now!”
Thank you, Bea Gobee, for posting the poem.
I had hoped Butch’s story would have a happy ending, one that he’d lived a long life. It is sad to read this, but I know he was loved and he felt loved when he passed. Rest in peace little one.
I too am at work and am fighting back the tears. Thank goodness Butch found a wonderful, loving forever home and was happy until his passing to the Rainbow Bridge!!
we had only 6 months with shadow (a diabetic rescue) wgen he trotted over rain bow bridge, our mum was so sad because she felt shad had so little time to enjoy being a cat that could go out. But she told us he put so much into that 6 months his first snow under his paws, rain he loved it,storms he was fasinated that a lot of other cats never enjoy. We loved hearing about buthch and his second chance just like our shad , so do what we do enjoy the fin bits and talk about him and visit him, we visit shad in the garden every day to sit and chat with our wonder boy, we know what you are feeling and it gets better and we will all meet someday
millie. kit, and our sobbing mum in galway,ireland
I’m also at work with tears in my eyes. Butch and his human touched my heart several times as the story unfolded this past year. Cheryl, you are in my thoughts as you struggle with the loss of this special cat. I hope you know what a gift you were to him, and I’m sure you know what a gift he was to you.
I’ll add my name to the long list of those at work struggling not to cry. I actually had to excuse myself to go to the bathroom to wipe my eyes when I read the poem If It Should Be. (Who wrote it? I want to give it proper credit.) I put my little girl Pumpkin (my best friend for 14 of my 20 years) down this winter after she fought a long battle with hyperthyroidism. This May I had the pleasure of adopting Onyx, a sweet little boy from the humane society. I struggled with the decision of allowing Pumpkin to pass on to her new and healthy life for a long time, and this story and the poem helped me to feel a little better about it. I still see little flashes of her in my new baby, so maybe a part of her is still with me, making sure I do everything right.
Bless anyone with the heart to adopt a homeless kitty…
When I saw the name of this edition of About Cats, I just knew it was about Butch. I too am trying my best not to cry here at work. Butch’s story inspired my husband and I to adopt a shelter cat, Colby, who is just a wonderful and loving kitty. And I was so happy to learn that Butch found a place to truly call home. God bless you Butch.
I’m sitting here crying. I just took a nap with my big baby and petted him all afternoon. I can’t imagine life without him. We will all meet Butch at the Rainbow Bridge–he just beat us there but he’s waiting. Cheryl, know that the Lord is smiling on you and Butch now.
Blessed Be, Sweet Butch! Tears are flowing pretty heavily right now so i can’t see very well. You were (and always will be) a gorgeous kitty mew! I hope that Cheryl and all your friends will have some comfort knowing that you are in a happy and peaceful place now surrounded by love and catnip! Namaste, Butch!
I am saddened to hear of Butch’s passing. I know the saddness that you are feeling. We lost our cat of 17 years last fall. I take comfort in knowing that our cat is waiting for us at the rainbow bridge. Butch is waiting for you at that same bridge. You are in our prayers. Thank you for sharing Butch’s story.
I am so sorry to hear about Butch’s passing. It was wonderful that he had such a wonderful and loving mom for his short life. I too had a very loving and wonderful friend and he lived a good life until his death. I miss him every day and cry that he is gone. You will see him again in Rainbow Bridge. I believe that fully
When I got the email infew minutes and noticed about Butch has passed away and bring my tears. I have seen his picture and he is so sweet and loving cat. I Know that he will be happy and no more pain. Cheryl, I have you in my prayer. Have a good life Butch. God bless you both.
Ya know I have many waiting for me at the Rainbow bridge too. Here is a poem that I wrote for my Snuggle Bear. It was published into a book and I won an editors choice award for it too.
I HAVEN’T LOST YOU
by Tracy Leigh Kemmer
Yes I miss you every day.
You were my grumpy li’l girl.
A Chihuahua Poodle mix,
So cute and not a bit shy.
GOD gave you to me.
Now he wants you to come home.
In time we will see
That being home is a much better place
Than on the roam,
Here on this Earth.
You see, I haven’t lost you.
I will be home too.
I am so sad to hear of Butch’s passing.I know the sadness and pain of losing a special cat.Butch was so blessed to have such a wonderful loving home. I have been following the updates on Butch and he just touched my heart.Cheryl, you are in my thoughts and prayers.God bless you Butch!
Awe Butch sweetie,we will miss you.My heart goes out to Cheryl,and to those who have had such a great loss.Animals are not pets,they are family,and it’s so sad to loose a family member.It seems the hurt will never go away.Butch may be in heaven,but I bet he’s chassing the other kitties around.Rest in peace sweet baby.
You have my sympathy … we lost our 6-year-old, Baby, to stomach cancer recently, a month after her diagnosis. It’s one of the hardest things we’ve been through, but we know she is still with us in spirit. Butch will always be a part of you. Bless you for loving him and caring for him, and making his last year a happy one.
Cheryl I was sorry to read about “BUTCH” my heart goes out to you here is a prayer I thought you would like to read: Thank you Lord,for the gift of pets that enrich our lives so dearly. Though their years are short, their memories live on. And we are better and wiser for having known them, Hope this will comfort you.
Cheryl -
I am so sorry to hear about Butch. My cat Martini also died of Cancer two months ago. She was a smart cat with a great personality.
My Vet. gave me a kitten to ease the pain, however when we we in the office because she (Ms. Kitty) didn’t feel good she had a seizure and died. She was 7 weeks old.
I am sure that Martini, Ms, Kitty and Butch are all having fun playing in heaven.
Always know that Butch loved you very, very, much.
I posted the poem IF IT SHOULD BE because it helped me get thru having to say goodbye to Shades, 17 year old cat I had from birth. My girlfriend sent it to me. Today at work Iread about Butch, & fought back the tears. I am sorry for Cheryl….Mrs. Jackson (owner of Barbaro) said, “Grief is the price we pay for love!”. when he crossed the Rainbow Bridge. I believe Barbaro is running around heaven with Butch on his back having the race of his life. Cheryl you gave Butch love that he did not know, thank you & hugs for that. If anyone would like a copy of this poem my e mail is: Bea.gobee@lennoxind.com. I sent this poem in a frame to the Jacksons & Doc Dean. Also to owners of Lost In The Fog when he crossed the rainbow bridge due to cancer. Everyone, please feel my hugs.
Grandma Bea, and kitties Ladee Elizabeth, Remington Barbaro & Bashful Gobee
So sad to read about Butch. You gave him a wonderful year and know the love you had for him was returned double.
For Dear Butch
You are God’s special little angel now and will have a perfect body. Praise God you were loved so much by the beautiful person who brought you to their home and showed you that love. May they have strength and peace at this time.
Dear Sweet BUTCH you are God’s Special little Angel now. You will have a new body with God and run happy and free in his beautiful garden. God be with you dear folks who loved dear Butch and tried so hard to help him.
God Bless you Butch…rest in peace.
I remember reading about this cat. Bless you for taking care of him for the short year of life he had. I am crying as I read the story. I am all too familiar with what it’s like to lose cat with cancer. I have lost 2 of them to this terrible disease. I am so sorry, but Butch is in heaven now running thru grassy meadows, chasing butterflies and talking to God and having the time of his life! Just remember that and it will help soften your sorrow.
My thoughts and prayers go out to you. I know all too well the grief of losing a precious animal, so many times. I’ve rescued many animals through out the years and have lost some to disease as well. But one thing I know that gives me complete peace and comfort, is the fact that I know we will all be together again someday. They truly are at the rainbow bridge…Just waiting for us
I Am Always With Him
And God asked the feline spirit,
“Are you ready to come home?”
”Oh, yes, quite so,” replied the precious soul,
“And, as a cat, you know I am most able to decide anything for myself.”
”Are you coming then?” asked God.
“Soon,” replied the whiskered angel,
”But I must come slowly, for my human friend is troubled
For, you see, he needs me, quite certainly.”
”But doesn’t he understand?” asked God, “That you’ll never leave him?
That your souls are intertwined. For all eternity?
That nothing is created or destroyed? It just is….forever and ever and ever.”
”Eventually he will understand,” replied the glorious cat,
”For I will whisper into his heart that I am always with him,
I just am….forever and ever and ever.”
This Old Cat
I’m getting on in years, my coat is turning gray.
My eyes have lost their luster, my hearing’s just okay.
I spend my whole day dreaming of conquests in my past,
Lying near a sunny window waiting for its warm repast.
I remember our first visit, I was coming to you free,
Hoping you would take me in and keep me company.
I wasn’t young or handsome, two years I’d roamed the streets.
There were scars upon my face, I hobbled on my feet.
I could sense your disappointment as I left my prison cage.
Oh, I hoped you would accept me and look beyond my age.
You took me without pity, I accepted without shame.
Then you grew to love me, and I admit the same.
I have shared with you your laughter, you have wet my fur with tears.
We’ve come to know each other throughout these many years.
Just one more hug this morning before you drive away,
and know I’ll think about you throughout your busy day.
The time we’ve left together is a treasured time at that.
My heart is yours forever. I promise . . . This Old Cat.
May I Go Now?
May I go now?
Do you think the time is right?
May I say goodbye to pain filled days
and endless lonely nights?
I’ve lived my life and done my best,
an example tried to be.
So can I take that step beyond
and set my spirit free?
I didn’t want to go at first,
I fought with all my might.
But something seems to draw me now
to a warm and loving light.
I want to go
I really do.
It’s difficult to stay.
But I will try as best I can
to live just one more day.
To give you time to care for me
and share your love and fears.
I know you’re sad and afraid,
because I see your tears.
I’ll not be far,
I promise that, and hope you’ll always know
that my spirit will be close to you
wherever you may go.
Thank you so for loving me.
You know I love you too,
that’s why it’s hard to say goodbye
and end this life with you.
So hold me now just one more time
and let me hear you say,
because you care so much for me,
you’ll let me go today.
Prayer Of A Stray
Dear God please send me somebody who’ll care!
I’m tired of running, I’m sick with despair.
My body is aching, it’s so racked with pain.
And Dear God I pray as I run in the rain,
“That someone will love me and give me a home.
A warm cozy bed I can call my own
My last owner neglected me and chased me away.
To rummage in garbage and live as a stray.
But now God I’m tired and hungry and cold.
And I’m afraid that I’ll never grow old.
They’ve chased me with sticks and hit me with stones.
While I run in the streets just looking for bones!
I’m not really bad God, please help if you can.
For I have become just a “VICTIM OF MAN!”
I’m wormy Dear God and I’m ridden with fleas
And All that I want is an owner to please!
If you find one for me God, I’ll try to be good
I won’t run away and I’ll do as I should.
I don’t think I’ll make it to long on my own,
Cause I’m getting so weak and I’m so all alone.
Each night as I sleep in the bushes I cry,
Cause I’m so afraid God, that I’m gonna die!
And I’ve got so much love and devotion to give,
That I should be given a new chance to live.
So Dear God PLEASE, PLEASE answer my prayer
And send me somebody who WILL really care…
Dear Cheryl,
My thoughts and prayers go out to you at this sad time. Thank you for all the love and happiness that you gave to Butch. May you rest in peace Butch…
rest in peace Butch, look for my dexter up at the bridge…
Rest in Peace sweet Butch and know how many hearts are with you in Cat Heaven. I hope you will meet Sandy Rosie Topper and Baby Cat and you can play together for all eternity. LOVE AND A PEACEFUL HEART TO YOUR WONDERFUL MOTHER> Jill Sophie Grady Blackie Nini Kitty and Isabella from New York City.
Dearest Cheryl, You are a special being on this earth! You went to Butch when he needed love and gave it to him without question. Ah, the pure joy you two must have shared those first few months getting to know each other! That darling boy felt your love and trusted you. How wonderful to have experienced this in your life!
When another creature trusts and isn’t afraid to show it; When you see that look of pure innocence in their eyes; Hearts melt together to the soul. What a treasure!
Cry Cheryl, then cry some more! While you’re sad and missing Butch, getting used to him being physically gone, remind yourself of the precious time spent creating a bond beyond this world. Believe from within that your soul will receive appreciation for what you did to bring life, love and finally comfort to Butch. Bless you.
PurrZ and HeadButtZ! ♥ Take care of yourself.
I felt sad and tears came to myt eyes when I read this. But I am happy Butch lived a fulfilled life.
Accept my condolences Cheryl C. I hope you keep the good memory of great Butch
Standtall (Nigeria)
I am the person that had sent in the original photo of Butch to try to get him adopted. I am absolutley in tears. I work for ‘Friends of Wayne Animals (FOWA) rescue group. Butch had become a little legend in the NJ rescue world. He is a symbol of what we strive for. To have each rescue placed in a safe, loving home & never have to go through ‘homeless, unloved, scared’ again.
Butch’s story was an insiparation and a goal. It is what helps our little rescue group stuggle on. Cheryl’s home is they kind of home we want to place all our ‘poor babies’ in. His story is an inspiration for us. His passing is so sad, but I am so happy that he was in loving arms and not is a shelter cage. He has left huge pawprints on my heart.
Dear Cheryl,
I’m sad to hear about Butch’s passing. I would like to thank you for your compassion for animals and for making Butch’s last year special.
Our sincere sympathy goes out to everyone who loved Butch. Our kitty Cousteau was the runner-up when Butch won Cat-of-the-month in April, but we was sooo glad Butch won and thereby found a loving forever home. He is now smiling down on our teary faces and thanking every single human who made a difference in his life. We will definitely light a candle for him tonight.
This Bittersweet story about beautiful Butch brought to to tears of sadness and tears of joy for Butch’s last year as a forever cat. Bless all the furbabies who make this world a better place to live in
I’m so glad that you could have your special buddy, for however short a time you had. He will be waiting for you…and watching over you in the meantime…a kitty so special must have wings!
I am so sorry to hear of Butch’s passing. Cheryl you are a special person and you did give Butch a wonderful life for the short time he was with you.
I also adopted a wonderful cat from rescue in Feb. 2006. He had been there for 2 years after being abandoned by his owner. In Jan. 2007 he was diagnosed with anemia which was treated. My Pugsley passed away Nov. 21, 2007 from kidney disease while sleeping next to me.
I loved him very much and will be looking for him when my time comes. I feel very blessed to have had him in my life for even a short while.
Oh rats! )-:
I’m so glad that Butch spent his last year being loved by a special person.
Dear Cheryl,
I’m so sorry to hear of Butch’s passing. You are obviously a very special person for travelling so far to adopt Butch, and he was a very special kitty who needed you. Franny, thank you for sharing Butch’s story with your readers. We are all touched by him.
oh how I weep for our loved ones. I lost 2 this year, Hooz to Lupus, and T-Bone to FIP. This just makes my heart ache.
I’m typing this right now through tears. That was a touching story and his picture looks almost exactly like my cat, Skippy. He is a 9 yr. old tabby I rescued from our local shelter when he was just a kitten. He has been a wonderful addition to our family also. Whatever time Butch had, he obviously was loved and cared for.
I have been following Butch’s story too, and
have just lost my precious torti Burmese to
cancer. Last Friday we gently helped her
go to the Rainbow Bridge. She was diagnosed
with a tumour on the mannary gland on the 28th July and I was told at 16 the outlook was grave. Its so hard not to cry but think
you and your forever cat walked together for
awhile and those precious memories will stay
with you until you meet again.
Cheryl, I am so sad it was time for Butch to go home. You were two angels who found each other to give to and love. When Butch needed you, you were there and gave him the greatest gift of love. I’m glad your short time together was so filled with love and know he is sadly missed.
I salute you cheryl for loving butch, even if time went by swiftly. i understand how you feel, i just lost my feline soulmate a few weeks ago. oh how much we miss them, and how much they touch our lives! i take comfort in knowing that one day, we will meet them again at the rainbow bridge. Butch is now in peace and is happily waiting to meet you.
My condolences; such an inspiring story, my heart also grieves for you and Butch; such a noble and lovely spirit. I write psalms, so to turn tears into strength (or so i pray), I wrote this psalm for you both; I only wish it was more.
For Love, for Loss, For Pain
I have endured; despite my heart, I have endured.
Within me, love has consumed me. The depths of my heart sing out.
A song that rides the zephyr – timeless; as if I am awestruck by beauty.
A song to express the dark, cold longing – timeless; for pain, like love, in the moment is forever.
In the moment of love, I stand still in awe and give you all my might.
In the moment of pain, I cry out and yearn for answers.
For who counts in the confines of love, except when we are no longer near? Or who can keep count in the throws of pain?
Such is the soul, such is my heart; beyond the confines of time.
Tears of loss, tears of love; they are intertwined.
Which one falls next I do not know, for each is simply mine.
Is time in months or years?
Or is time in the love, our fears, our joy, our tears?
My heart asunder, my body dressed in ashcloth I sit shiva for you.
Years consoles me not; comfort is merited from each and every tear.
Eternal are they all; just as each moment with you can never be measured.
Thus, I do not count out my tears or calculate our years.
You have made me whole – in grief and in love, I have given to you and give to you now.
Though I am engulfed by the valley of shadows, I fly on the wings of peace.
You go before me, out of shadow into light.
G-d gave us for a sign, the rainbow; a promise not to forever extinguish the beauty within creation.
So I know you endure, you beautiful spirit and gift from G-d.
And indeed, in my heart will always shine the light of your presence.
Selah.
May you be blessed and find comfort. Kalli (my kitty) and I extend our support.
Cheryl, There is little new I can say that has not already been said. I have followed Butch’s story an felt the fear when his diagnosis was revealed. My tears have joined the others as well as your own when i read the latest news. I have no doubt that Butch will always have a deep place in your heart and part of him lives in the hearts of people like me even though we never knew him. I also work with rescue cats/dogs and is the rare and wonderful people like you who make the hardest time bearable. I hope that when the time is right, you will find a place for another cat to fill your heart for surely there will be one waiting.
we are sooo sorry to hear of Butchs passing. at least he had a great home with lots of love.
Oh, sweet beautiful Butch…although I never met you…I can’t help but cry that you are no longer with us..you will be missed sweet angel…my heart goes out to you Cheryl…thank you for giving him a home…
I’m at home reading this and the tears are rolling down my face. This is the first I knew of Butch being ill and passing. I saw his beautiful photo and the story of his adoption some months back. At the time I showed the picture and story to the owner of a cat who often visits and stays with my family and our 4 girls. This other cat is the image of Butch and has also had a very hard life. I am so sad that Butch passed away but so happy that he spent the last year of his life with a loving Mum and not in a cage. God Bless you Cheryl for taking him in. One day Insh’Allah we will all meet to play with Butch.
I lost my best friend, Dudley a week ago. I am still consumed with guilt because he had a growth in his abdomen and we could not afford the surgery necessary to save him. We had to euthanize him. He was hissing at me and the vet said he was in pain. I wish I had gone for a second opinion, but he wasn’t eating and was vomiting and had watery stool. I still don’t know if I did the right thing. He was my friend for 14 1/2 years and I wish I could have done more. I see him lying in his favorite spots and cry, begging him to forgive me. I miss him with all my heart