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PURRfect Cat Test

From Franny Syufy,
Your Guide to Cats.
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Is your favorite feline a purrfect pet? Put the little dear to this test--you might take her down a peg or two.

My Kitty:

  1. Knows her proper place (smack dab in the middle of the king-sized bed, between the other occupants.)
  2. Practices home improvement--carefully lines up the claw marks on the furniture.
  3. Greets important company properly--the white cats jumps on the lap of Mr. Black Suit, the black one adorns the white velvet lap of his wife.
  4. Helps clean the dishes (sometimes when company is still eating).
  5. Practices time management--eats, sleeps in alternate quarter-hour periods.
  6. Assists with web site development by helpfully keeping keyboard warm and mouse excercised.
  7. Protects me from the annoyance of unwanted cats on my shoulders (by getting there first).
  8. Helps me read the newspaper (by holding it down firmly with a full body slam).
  9. Maintains good grooming habits by washing several times daily
  10. Provides free wake-up service (at 2, 3, 4 a.m. or whenever hunger strikes)

Allow ten points for each affirmative answer.
Scores:
30-50: Take another look at your pet. Are you sure he isn't a giant gerbil?
60-80: Your kitty needs to attend the Bubba Academy of Attitude Adjustment.
90-100: Congratulations! Your home is graced by a Purrfect Cat. Give him some extra scritches and a special treat (if you know what's good for you).

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