Catspeek Dickshunary
Learn how to talk like a cat for self-survival
Okay, so it was inevitable. You hang around with fuzzballs long enough, you're going to pick up their language eventually. However, for the catspeak-challenged, I've assembled this little usage dictionary to make their mewsings more understandable.
You see-- you've already learned one word. You will see many others on CLAW member pages. Before you know it, you too will talk like a cat. Miaou!| Affur | Hu. after | prep. Later in time; following Ex. 'Affur you, my winkwink.' |
| brofur | Hu. brother | n. Male sibling. |
| catress | Hu. actress | n. A female purrformer. |
| dats | Hu. That's | Contraction of "dat is". Ex. 'Dats what I'm trying to tell you.' |
| d*gs | Hu. dogs (vulgar) | noun 4-legged human companion far inferior to cats |
| ennything | Hu. anything | pron. Act, condition. Ex. 'Did you do ennything to your fur?' |
| evfur | Hu. ever | adv. Element of illusive time, i.e. 'Will you evfur be ready?' |
| fud | Hu. food | n.Sustenance. Of supreme importance to most cats. Ex. 'Don't furget the fud!' |
| fur | Hu. for, far (sl.) | adv. A measure of space or time |
| furevfur | Hu. forever | adv. Lasting as long as time. |
| furriend | Hu. friend | n. A fond name for a loved one. Ex. You will always be my best furriend.' |
| furry | Hu. very | adv.Extremely. Ex. The Wicked Twins are furry furry happy today. |
| furst | Hu. first | adv. A unit of impurrtance. Ex. 'I was furst in line!' |
| leeve | Hu. leave | v. Depart. Ex. 'Pleeze leeve the purrmises, Sir.' |
| leftofurs | Hu. leftovers | n. That which remains. With food, usually served again at a later time, and usually tasting better then. |
| mewsic | Hu. music | n. Vocal or instrumental sounds that are pleasing to the ear. |
| meowmie | Hu. Mommy | n. Female parent to a cat; may be two or four-legged. |
| nevfur | Hu. never | adv. Without possibility of happening. |
| ovfur | Hu. over | prep. surmounting, overcoming. |
| purrformance | Hu. performance | noun. An entertainment event for an audience, e.g., Clyde Big Paw's purrformance at the CLAW Theatre. |
| propurrty | Hu. property | n. Real estate, belongings. Ex. 'That tuna is MY propurrty!' |
| purrposed | Hu. proposed | verb. Presented to others for consideration. ex.: 'My brofur purrposed to his winkwink.' |
| purrsuader | Hu. persuader | n. A complimentary description of one who is very convincing. |
| sisfur | Hu. sister | noun Female sibling. |
| smurgle smurgle | Hu. (see def.) | v. Acts depicting intense affection between feline members of the opposite sex, best left to the imagination of the reader. |
| wedwink | Hu. wedding | n. Results from a ceremony reminiscent of a human wedding. Not all winkwinks can become wedwinks, because their humans lack the graphic skills to produce the extravaganza. A grandiose wedwink has just begun at dorissimo's domain. |
| winkwink | Hu. Sweetheart, betrothed | n. A serious commitment between two cats which much be approved by their brofurs, sisfurs, and hoomin beans (aka purrsons). The story of Taliesin's and Dwnn's courtship is at http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Olympus/5516/twidgy.html. Such a sweet story; take a hankie when you read it. It's like a long-term engagement, and as with many humans' engagements it may not lead to the altar. |
| wood | Hu. would | v. Past tense of 'will'. Ex. 'Wood you pass the catnip, pleeze?' |
| waz | Hu. was | v. Past tense of 'is'. |
| whateffur | Hu. whatever | n. Any and all. Ex. 'Whateffur you want my dear.' |
| whatz | Hu. what's | Contraction of 'what iz'. Ex. 'Whatz the purroblem here?' |
| iz, wuz | Hu. is | v. Third purrson state of being. Ex. "He iz furry handsome.' PT: 'He wuz very glad to see you.' |
