The giddy 90s gave way to the New Millenium (the first one), and soon afterward the first faint whispers of a slowdown started stirring. "Around this time, I noticed that Nigel was getting much neater with his litter box," explained Mr. Ellis. "At first I thought it was coincidence, but by this time I knew better. He was telling me something. But did he mean buy and hold or did was he telling me to do some profit-taking?" Nigel was mum. Mr. Ellis, anxious for an answer, tried a different tactic. One evening, instead of surrounding Nigel's litter box with the NASDAQ, "which everyone except Nigel was still enamoured with," he put a few pages of the more dowdy and out-of-fashion New York Stock Exchange listings around the box.
"I swear to you the next morning Nigel flung a pile six inches high squarely over 3M. The message couldn't have been clearer." As it turns out, Mr. Ellis already owned some some shares of 3M. He sold some of his high tech holdings, and bought more shares of 3M. Over the next several months, the general pattern was that Nigel would "kick up" a stock pick about once every three or four weeks. It was clear to Mr. Ellis that he should take his profits and invest them in more conservative companies. After so many years, taking Nigel's advice had become second nature. Mr. Ellis's friends warned him that he was selling out prematurely and forfeiting some huge gains. Mr. Ellis just smiled in the way that only an insider is able.
As almost everyone who hasn't spent the last year living atop a redwood knows, the past several months haven't been kind to the NASDAQ. But while the former high-flyers are pointing fingers and defaulting on their mortgages, Richard, Carol, and Nigel Ellis are enjoying a quiet evening at home in their new addition (complete with a stylish driftwood-themed cat tree by the bay window), financed mostly by Nigel's unconventional but adroit stock picking skills.
And what kind of investing is the Ellis household doing these days? Mr. Ellis says that "Nigel, Mrs. Ellis, and I are laying low for the time being, at least until the economy works its way out of the doldrums. And just the other day, I picked up a "litter mat" at the local PETsMART. It works much better than newspaper at catching the litter, and Nigel likes it, too." Mr. Ellis furtively passes Nigel, who's been waiting patiently, a little piece of his baked haddock. Mrs. Ellis disapproves of Nigel eating fish, but knows that these quid pro quo transfers have been going on right under her nose for years. A content Nigel licks his chops and jumps into Mr. Ellis's lap. And what does he have to say about all this?...
APRIL FOOL!!!
Article Copyright 2001 Gary Loewenthal, licensed to About.com
