You Just Don't Understand!
Communicating with cats can be a puzzling and frustrating experience, both for the human and the cat in question. Cats have interesting and provocative ways of expressing their emotions and desires, and can sometimes become very impatient when their human fails to understand them. The primary directive of human-cat socialization is: It is NEVER the cat who fails to communicate; it is ALWAYS the human who fails to understand.
Cats resemble some 2-year-old humans in that biting is often a gesture of affection. My daughter has an 18 pound cat who can't scratch his own hindquarters without falling over. I've noticed when I scratch his flanks, he will give my hand little nips, as if to say, "That feels good, do it some more." The bites become more aggressive when I take my hand away.
A kitty nip on the nose usually signals great love of cat for human.
I would not suggest returning the gesture, however a little nose-to-nose nuzzling is usually appreciated, and will sometimes result in a liberal face-watching. If you've ever watched a mother cat wash her kitten's face, you will appreciate the significance. Pay no attention to those who say that kitty is just licking the salt on your face-- they obviously have no appreciation of the finer points of communication between felines and their friends.
Is there a cat lover alive who doesn't understand the term "annoyance ears"? You can judge the degree of annoyance easily by observing just how laid back the ears are. Mild annoyance will sometimes be signalled by one ear back and eyes slightly narrowed. When the second ear joins the first one and his purr becomes a low growl, I'd advise stopping whatever you are doing. Cats as a rule have a very low tolerance level and when they signify "enough is enough", they mean it. Both ears laid well back indicate that a terrific fight is about to ensue. The ear-language will be accompanied by a high-pitched keening sound which may go on for several minutes while the cat circles his opponent. If he is fight-playing with a friend, the keening will be replaced by general low-pitched growling, with a lot of circling and mock-swinging.
Many cats vary their vocalization according to degree of need. My Shannon gives a plaintive little "bleep" when hungry and a somewhat louder "meooooww" when the food dish isn't filled quickly enough. He really reaches full voice when needing to go outside, which inevitably occurs when I am working upstairs at my computer. He is not vocalizing to the world at large, but to ME, as is apparent when I look down from the balcony and see him glaring up at me while he hollers, "I've really got to goooooo ouuuuuuuttttt!" Much of his communication is non-verbal. While working at my computer, I will feel a set of razor-sharp claws grasping my arm. If I ignore it, the claws deepen their grasp, until I stop what I'm doing and scratch his ears. If I tire before he does, he'll let me know he's not finished; finally, satiated, he will fall asleep, sitting upright on top of my desk at my left shoulder, the deep syncopation of his purr rumbling a counterpoint to his nodding head. There is nothing quite so comforting as having a friend close at hand while you work.
Shannon and Arthur, who are aging, are fed on top of the kitchen counter while Bubba eats on top of the dryer in the utility room. This arrangement originated to keep their food away from our dog, Mongo (now deceased), and because the cats have different dietary requirements due to medical conditions. To keep the two off the counter except for meal time, I always keep the counter stools pushed under the counter. Because of aging hind quarters, neither Shannon nor Arthur can make it to the counter in one jump, so they use the stools as a sort of catapault.
This morning, I was seated at the counter, reading the paper and enjoying my morning decaf, when Shannon politely said, "Excuse me." I reached down and petted him for a moment and went back to my reading. A few minutes later, he said, "Ahem! I said, 'excuse me'." I finally figured out what he wanted when he exclaimed, "You just don't understand!"
I got up off my stool and waited until he used it to trampoline to the counter. I'm slow, but I'm learning.
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