Names of the guy and his cat(s) (First name is fine)
George and Doodle
How did you (he) get your first cat?
I met my handsome boy at the local Pet Rescue, just a week after losing my beloved 14 y/o girl Sally Roo. He was sick, sneezy and goopy eye and very reserved. The staff said he didn't warm up to anyone, so I decided he and I needed each other to heal. For a week we just sat and talked.
What do you (he) most admire about your cat?
Doodle has come out of his defensive shell to reveal an intelligent and humorous little person. He tolerates my bad habits and waits for me at the door, and seems to be channeling my Sally by tugging at the lampshade and playing with her favorite toy, a red plastic milk bottle ring.
Describe any daily routines you (he) and your cat share
Of course we have the breakfast and dinner ritual, soft food and kibble and water. Then wait for me outside the shower so he can inspect the tub. He likes to bite, and if my behind is not under the covers he'll bite my backside! Then there's dropping his toys and mice into the water bowl.
What I Did:
Doodle was my attempt to heal after losing Sally. Not a replacement; that is impossible of course. But I let him know he doesn't have any standards to live up to, no comparison. I tell him every day that I love him, and that he and I saved each other from a very sad place. The last few years have seen the loss of my parents, three cats I loved (including Miss Roo) and the stress of my job and my folk's estate. Cats have a unique ability to soothe, and once you win their trust you have conquered a summit indeed.
How I Did It:
When I spent that first week visiting the sad little tuxedo cat in the cage (that no one seemed to want to adopt - he'd been there a very long time, first with his feral mother and a sibling) I talked to him about Sally and how I was dealing (not too well) with the loss. I couldn't touch him/hold him because I was told that's how they usually get sick. We fashioned a toy from a plastic bag and played through the bars, and I said to him "I have a job for you if you want it: taking care of me. All you have to do is give me a paw and you come home with me". I knew it would be a long and difficult process, but that's part of what I needed to heal myself. It took a couple days, but at last he reached out that paw to touch my finger. Done deal. Was I unsure, scared? Oh yes, but I was in a very dark and unhappy place and needed this cat to keep me anchored. Funny how duty to another can do that, right? The Pet Rescue (Paws 'N Claws) gave him shots, handed me a bag of kitten kibble, and waived the adoption fee since he'd been there so long. Wow! Good thing too, as I still didn't know how sick he might be. Could he have something serious? He was still sneezing, not a good sign. What if he came home only to die? I was ready to accept that. The vet visits to clear up his respiratory system and eye and intial checkup ran a couple hundred dollars, and the follow up shots and meds another fifty but he was going to be okay. I let my girlfriend pick names for him, settled on Chance since he and I represented a 'chance' for each other. Somehow 'Doodle' flowed easily, so the nickname stuck. Doodles, Doodler, Doodlebug, Mr. Do, you know how they just come out. Just last week we had our first separation while I went to the east coast for five days. The Pet Rescue had a pet sitter who looked in on Doodle twice a day and filled his bowl and played with him (even scooped the litter box), and pulled a scrub pad and his mouse out of his water bowl. She fell in love with the kid.
Doodle still sneezes now and then, perhaps dust. I have two ionizers running 24/7 to help out. My g/f has allergies (to cats as well) so when she is there the place hums with ionizers and HEPA filters and fans!
Lessons Learned
- Patience: Doodle may have a long road until he heals, and I accept that he may never fully be healed. He doesn't like to be picked up and held, something I would dearly love to do. Time...things take time.
- Be unconditional. He is not Sally, but I don't expect that of him. He is a different person so we need to start from fresh.
- Tell them you love them every time you part company. Even if it's stepping out for a newspaper or off to work as I do every day. You never know when the unthinkable could happen and you never see that person again. Always make closure every time you part company.
