From the article: How to Care for Your Humans
Martine Carlsen, Guest Author, helped her two cats key out an article on How to Care for Your Human. It contains interesting suggestions for eliminating feline boredom while keeping your human physically and mentally fit. Try out litter box art, for example. Or creative barfing. At the end of the article, there's a tool where you can share your own creative advice. If you're clever enough, you'll be the cat's meow of the Kittynet. Share Your Advice
Bathroom Training
- Raven & Cabo here, we just have to share our tips on proper human bathroom usage. 1) Keep a roll of unprepared kitty confetti available at all times, it is our duty to make confetti, especially when you are down to the last roll. Our humommy thanks us for keeping her abs toned while playing/cleaning up confetti and we know that those words she utters while hopping through the house with her pants down looking for Kleenex, paper towel or fast food napkins are nothing but the highest of praise for our thoughtfulness. 2) Toilet time is purrfect for brushing our fur. It did take awhile for her to get point, she finally figured out it was best to keep the brushes in there, it makes no difference to us that it's 4 AM in the morning...like she has something better to do! Next we have to train her to stop flicking water at us when we want to play peek a boo when she is in the shower, we don't feel a draft and we are not lil peeping Toms, ooo wait maybe we are LOL Kitty Kisses to you!
- —Smoquii
Human experience from the expert
- I am The Empress Raleigh - I have been ruling over humans for 17 1/2 years. I have learned that a loud, piercing, and unrelenting voice is very effective at getting humans to pay attention to you - they will do almost anything to shut you up. I have also learned the power of a very intense, direct STARE. My human says I mesmerize her. Both Coco Bear and I have learned that a little flirtation, a little showing of tummy goes a long way. Actually, Coco Bear goes way overboard with that, but the human loves it. Also, closed doors are not to be tolerated, and I have learned to whap them with my forelegs very hard, combined with aforementioned piercing voice. Humans are also suckers for purring, kneading and affection from their cats. Refusing to eat can get you attention, but it may backfire on you if you end up going to that Bad Place and being poked and prodded. Oh, Coco reminds me that sadly pawing at the food cupboard makes mom want to feed us, but she usually resists.
- —HOSTPat
Mail runs and internet shopping
- Hi all -- Purrcy (I'm polydactyl :-) ) here! My person gets lots of junk mail and catalogs because she loves to shop on the internet! She asks me when we hear the mail lady at the mailboxes, "Purrcy, do you want to get the mail?" Sometimes, of course, I would rather stay curled up on the couch but most times, those words are music to my ears! I run to the door, as dramatically and excitedly as possible, give my best "Err-raaaw" and off we go! First, I greet Barb, our mail person. I rub up against her and become my most charming self. After she talks to me a bit, Mom and she begin talking. I sniff inside the mailbag -- wow it is a conundrum of smell, folks -- and Barb starts handing Mom the mail. There are catalogs galore, almost every day! I shudder to think what the next few months will bring, with Christmas coming! My other "job" is snuggling up to Mom on a pillow next to her when she's on her laptop -- shopping, emailing, whatever. I get LOTS of snuggle time!
- —Guest Connie303
Responsible Ownership - Sickness
- Dear Fellow Felines, Even the best-cared for human pet will occasionally get sick. This is due to human's weak bodies and clumsiness and in no way reflects poorly on your caretaking. However, when your human gets sick, it's your responsibility to nurse it back to health. A time-honored method of doing so is sitting or lying on your human to keep it warm. Headbutts to the face are also encouraged, especially if its nose seems red and sore. Loud purring is, of course, the ultimate cure, and should be applied generously. It is extra-important during these times to keep your human away from useless time-wasters like TV, books, or the computer: in bed, underneath you, is the only suitable position for a sick human that's not actively engaged in opening cat food cans.
- —hgibb
Kisses
- My name is Philly and I live with my Mommy and Daddy in New Jersey. I must daily indulge my Mommy by presenting my forehead to her for kisses. This is usually done in MY favorite spot, the bathroom window sill. I do think my Mommy would shrivel up and die if I did not present my forehead to her on a daily basis for those kisses.
- —PhillysMom
Felo-Therapy
- My human daddy has 3 tumors in his liver. He was given a treatment to shrink the tumors. I sit on his lap facing him & I know exactly where his liver is. I knead his liver with my front paws to make sure the medicine is working properly. It's called Felo-Therapy & his doctor is very interested in this new experimental treatment. I am determined to make it work!
- —Guest Taco Bell
Bringing gifts
- Giving gifts to you mommy is the best way to show how much you love her and to entertain her. Brining her a deceased animal is great but isn't that much fun. Well you can watch her try to find away to get rid of it doing so with a broom or cardboard boxes, live animals are so much better. Bring her a snake, mouse or the most fun a bird. Watch her play tag with the animals and dance around trying to catch them. After you will be rewarded with her telling all her humam friends how you brought her a gift. Note: Squirrles work exceptionally well to.
- —Guest Ash
My Job
- I'm Jag, my job is to be as non-loveable as possible... unfortunately it has not quite yet worked as my humans are still trying to make me like them. The only time I will be nice is when I hear the lovely music of the can opener... I have grown quite fond of it seeing as everytime I hear it I end up getting some of what is being open. My other job is to sit by my humans door at 4 a.m. in the morning and yowl as loud as possible when my human gets up to let me in i wait a bit then yowl at the door to be let back out and do that several times a night. I also play Herd of Wild Wildebeasts Thundering Across the dessert at night. That gets my humans to get up and pay attention to me, most of the time with somthing to say. Well someone needs to catch the invisble mouse...
- —Guest Ash
Protecting Mom
- Speck here and let me tell you my sisters, Skittle and Maggie, and I have had to work hard at protecting our human mom & dad. Maggie is always in charge of the bathroom, sometimes she even jumps up on mom's lap to make sure she doesn't fall into that water. Mom thought she would go in by herself one time, ha like we'd let that happen (door handles are much better than those knob thingies). Skittle is in charge of slow approaches in the driveway. Mom and dad must come to a complete stop before she will let them pull up the driveway, at times she will guide them in slowly. We all take turns taking them for walks. I wasn't too fond of the walk idea the other night so I yelled at them every step and slowed them down by going up and around every circular drive on both sides of the street. After about six houses they agreed with me and let me walk them home. We like bed time, it's comfy up there, Maggie stays close to mom's face to make sure she's breathing. We love mom and dad.
- —Guest Speck
Regular exercise important
- Hi, Pardoes here. My human is not very clever, so I'm sitting in her lap, reading and dictating what needs to be typed. A sharp claw is useful. Regular exercise is most important, for me and for her. That's why I have worked out the following routines: a. When she works at the computer (not visiting about:cats) she forgets about the time. To make sure that she does not neglect the circulation of blood in her legs: i. I attack them from under the desk. ii. She gets up immediately, crawls under the table and picks me up, fussing. iii. When she sits down again, repeat. b. When she is in the kitchen, working on food: i. I call for attention. ii. If nothing happens, I get attention: 1. Take a flying leap 2. Grab and hang (from the back, preferably) 3. Drop and run (away, of course) 4. She runs after me, with some interesting choice words 5. Allow myself to be picked up and cuddled 6. Repeat c. I see you are all familiar with the "rise and shine" routine. Keep it up!
- —pardoes
Getting mom out of bed
- I'm Coco Bear, and a few sleep cycles ago something odd happened. Mom spent a lot of time doing something with clocks and light timers all over the house, and then the next morning when the sun was rising, mom wasn't getting up. Raleigh and I were concerned (and hungry) so we were very good cats and made sure mom got up (and fed us). Mom was kind of crabby about it and said "why can't you let me sleep?" Then lunch time came - no lunch until later. Same thing at dinner, and the next day. I don't understand why humans have some silly clock tell them when it's time to eat, or to get out of bed. The sun and their tummies are all they need.
- —HOSTPat
Put the Toilet Roll in Properly
- I hate it when my human puts the toilet roll in the wrong way round so it doesn't unravel. It's so frustrating! And not nearly as satisfying to bite chunks off it rather than get it spinning and unraveling into a lovely nest on the floor. I mean really, it's not as if you can't still use it.
- —Guest Sox
getting Mom to bed
- My name is Punkin. I try to take care of my human mamma. She loses track of time. I have to tell her when its time for my dinner .( Sillly momma) She is very good at getting my brothers and my sister our meals. It takes her a long time becuse that mean vet said we had to eat alone. I guess we will do anything to keep our moms busy. At night she gets on the comp. and I want to go to bed , so when I think she has been there long enough I let her know with a meawww... When she gets in bed we all get salmon treats , so we want her to go to bed ! Then I give her some kitty Kisses and lay down at the foot of the bed and hope she will go to sleep. She is easy to take care of ! I have her wrapped around my four paws!!!!!! Punkin, Scooter.Hittie,Baxter.Snuggles
- —Guest bluebird45us
Keeping humans alert
- Our most important job in caring for humans is keeping them alert at all times! Thus, we have developed our "thunder paws routine". This means we have to run and jump upstairs above the humans bedroom and wake them up and have them constantly wondering if it is thundering outside or a tornado is coming. This keeps them on their toes and ever knowing we are in charge! Thankfully the humans do not do this to us when we rest....because we are sooooo cute and lovable!
- —Guest GypsyRosebud & Rae
Showing affection
- I show my human mommy affection by curling up with her when she goes to bed. I position myself right at her face and neck..my face next to hers. I purr loudly to sing her to sleep and I pat her cheek with my paw. She just melts. I get lots of kissies on my cheeks but she crumples my whiskers! I wake her up each morning at 6, and even though she covers her head with the sheet, I persist. If that doesn't work, I style her hair!! She doesn't seem to always appreciate my efforts though and covers her head again. Just trying to keep her looking good and save her the time later after my breakfast. Love my mommy and she loves me.
- —Guest Lady Bianca
Keeping Track of Human Mommy's
- This is Kit. I have the most important job. And that is to meow for and search for my Mommy when she gets lost. She goes into a different room and I MUST find her! I meow and I "murmur mew" until my Mommy answers me, then I go find her, get on her lap to make sure she is okay, and calm her down til I feel like she is okay to be left on her own for awhile again....Til she gets lost again! I also have the job of sleeping at the foot of Mommy's bed so she doesn't get scared of the dark!
- —PhillysMom
I Groom Mommy's Hair
- My Mommy comes to bed sometimes with straggly hair. I lie on top of her head and groom it with my teeth. Sometimes I get a tangle and have to bite on it to break it loose. I know Mommy appreciates it. I've heard her brag, "Lips by Mabelline. Hair by Jenny." That makes me very proud.
- —Guest Jennifur
